Vayeishev
The parshah opens describing the special relationship between Yaakov Avinu and his son, Yosef. Yosef is described as his “ben zkunim,” the son of his old age, which the commentators explain in various ways to show why Yosef enjoyed this unique relationship. As the story progresses, we are told about the disharmony that developed between Yosef and his brothers, resulting in the brothers selling him as a slave to Egypt. Eventually, Yosef, as a servant in Potiphar’s home, is seduced and enticed by Potiphar’s wife. The pasuk tells us that “Vayima’ain”- and Yosef refused to be enticed. But the trup on the word here is the unusual and dramatic “shalsheles,” the triple, elongated cantillation sung by the Torah reader.
Where did Yosef get the immense strength to control this enticement? After all he was far removed from his home, hated by his brothers, in a perverse culture, divorced from anything spiritual. It could have been understandable had Yosef succumbed to this temptation. What was it that kept him strong? Chazal tell us he saw the image of his father in the window as he was being seduced. He saw how his father would never give up on him, how his father created a bond that stretched from Canaan to Egypt, how the strength of his Avos were being imbued into his soul to the point that when we mention the seven Ushpizin on Sukkos, it is Yosef mentioned alongside our Avos.
This is alluded to by the shalsheles trup over the word “and he refused.” This chain stretched back to verse 37:35 in our parsha when the Torah informs us that Yaakov refused to be consoled over Yosef- “vayima’ain”- the same word! The “vayima’ain” of Yaakov, a father’s refusal to ever give up on the soul and spirit of his child, stretched all the way down to the perverse and immoral Egypt, creating Yosef’s “vayima’ain,” inspiring Yosef to refuse to succumb to his base desires, to remain strong. Instead of demeaning himself, Yosef became “Yosef Ha”tzadik,” putting his name alongside Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Moshe, Ahron, and Dovid! How? The faith and love of his father.
As parents and educators, we know this to be true. Kids today, more than ever, have a tenuous connection to spirituality. The lures and seductions of the world scream out to our youth, in their glamor, and glitter, more loudly than Potiphar’s wife! The main weapon in our arsenal is the love, faith, and personal connection we develop in our children and students. I recently told a parent that the difference between a general studies teacher and a rebbe or morah, is that a math or English teacher, has to pass information from “brain to brain,” to transmit knowledge from the teacher to the student. However, love, appreciation, and dedication to Torah concepts in transmitted from “heart to heart.” Information can be taught through solid pedagogy and methodology but the spirit and connection is through the rebbe/Talmid and parent/child bond and relationship.
As the shamash itself must be lit to bring light to the other neiros in our menorah, and just as our flame must come close to the unlit candles to ignite them, so too must we be ignited and inspiring, so too must we bring ourselves closer to our students and children to continue the beautiful “shalsheles,” the chain of dedication, menorah, and family traditions to keep our spirituality strong.
Good Shabbos and a freilichin Chanukah!
